Sunday, February 23, 2014

I'm Doing Something Right

As a parent, I have been in a not so good place for a while now.  I feel like I am always out of patience and energy and positive thinking, and that just leaves me crabby most of the time.  Audrey, especially, has been going through a difficult phase, and most days I end the day just feeling like a complete failure as her mom.  I just don't know the best way to discipline/help/teach her.  I don't know if I am doing anything right with either of the girls.  And as a perfectionist, I like to know that I am doing things right.

Our church and small group have been discussing parenting for the last few weeks, and I've been thinking a lot lately about why I am so discouraged and not confident about my abilities as a mother.  I could probably spend all day writing about my thoughts on this subject, but they are still too disjointed to put together in a coherent post.

Instead, I'm going to share with you this great post I read tonight from Hands Free Mama:  When You Get it Right...and When You Don't

You should go and read it all, but if you don't have time, I'll summarize.  She talks about how some parents feel they don't know if they did their job right until their kids are all grown up.  And how she doesn't want to wait until her kids are grown and gone to know that she did something right as a parent.  So she started keeping a list of the little things she did right each day, to remind herself that she is doing at least something right.

I need to do this!  I could easily give you a huge list of all the things I feel that I do WRONG every day, but I don't often stop to think about what I do right.  Surely, I manage to do something right each day??  I could definitely use some more positive thinking in my life these days, so I'm going to give it a try this week.

She also talked about how when we do things wrong, it doesn't necessarily mean we are ruining our children.  I needed to hear that too!  That is such a huge fear of mine.  I'm afraid that something I will do as a parent will totally screw up my girls for the rest of their lives.  Again this post did help to remind me that is not a rational fear.  I especially liked this paragraph:

"I have discovered something about my list of “rights” that relieves a lot of the pressure I often put on myself. And that is this: Perhaps even on the days I don’t get it right, my child is still learning valuable lessons about life, persistence, determination, independence, failure, compassion, grace, and forgiveness. Maybe even when I am not getting it “right,” it doesn’t mean she’s going to turn out all wrong. "

So starting tomorrow, I'm going to look for the "right" in my day and not worry as much about all the "wrong!" 


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